I Need A CHIROPRACTOR!!!

Richard Garabedian where are you?!!!! I don't know if it is because I
haven't worked out consistently in over 2 months, or if it is because
I am hunched over using those blasted tumbleweed brooms made for
Munchkins, I'm sorry, Little People, or if it is because there are 3
potholes for every 3 meters (like that, I've gone metric!) of road and
the jarring is finally getting to me OR it could be a FEW things wrong
with my BED! Let me describe my previous sleeping arrangements in the
States...Kalem and I had a firm Cal-King mattress with a 3 inch
"Memory Foam" on top. 1,000,000 thread count, 100% Egyptian Cotton
sheets on a Half-Sleigh Bed made out of dark Mahogany wood, not that I
really remember sleeping in that bed, since it was over 2 months ago!
Please don't read snobbery in the description of what was formerly
know as "My Bed", just imagine comfort; sheer and utter nocturnal
bliss when I snuggled in with the sheets enclosing my face like a
hooded sweatshirt. And lest I be remiss to speak about my Pillow, my
Sweet, Sweet, SWEET pillow! It too is constructed of "Memory Foam"
matching the very curvature of my neck and holding my spine at
ergonomic perfection. (For those of you who would like to visit this
sleep shrine call 555-Circle K Ranch for visiting hours and admission
pricing; senior citizens discounts, food stamps and coupons are NOT
accepted!)
So a long day of sweeping like a hunchback, being thrown about in the
front seat of the Niva, and my lack of stomach and back strength all
play a role in my aching back and spine but the bed here really takes
the cake. As you recall ALL 5 of us SLEEP in THE SAME ROOM!!!!, I
know that many of you practice "co-sleeping" with your newborns up to
age...? But this is the whole lot of us like Rob Roy MacGregor or
something. Judi and Peter have "twin" beds (they are about 1/3
smaller than a twin in the US) and the head and footboards move in and
out at the slightest touch. Poor Frankie sleeps in between Jude and
Pete on one of those inflatable twin mattresses and as of late, every
morning we wake up to either the bed being totally flat or it has
deflated enough so that he has slid half-way (feet and legs) under
Judi or Peter's bed. Now, our bed; our bed looks like regal queen
size with a extra-super-high-high-gloss reddish, brown wood appearance
(it is really a styro-epoxy-foam frame with wood painting)and fancy
curls and swoops on the headboard. The mattress, sans box spring sits
on a 8" high black wood box, so it is quite low to the ground. The
mattress is a WELL WORN spring type and you can actually feel EACH and
EVERY individual spring. I have learned to negotiate a semi-
comfortable position with limited spring contact, BUT if by chance I
move in the dead of night I am reminded quickly and painfully not to
try that again. So the mattress is less than ideal but the pillows
are even more of a difficulty. The pillows that were on the queen
were "European" 2 1/2 Feet Square. At that size if we laid the
pillows down flat and placed our heads appropriately then our feet
were dangling quite uncomfortably over the edge at some distance. But
if we moved up on the pillows to fit inside the bed, then not only
were our heads on the pillows but so were our shoulders and arms down
to the elbow, and our ribcage...if you can't picture it...it is NOT a
very satisfying sleeping position. Also, I have heard of duck down or
goose down filled pillows, but I think they have the WHOLE BIRD in the
pillow too! Forget building houses. I am going to open a SLEEP
NUMBER or TEMPERPEDIC Shop on Abovyan!!!
Needless to say, after 2 1/2 months sleeping in these contorted
positions I am in desperate need of a chiropractor, Richard COME, NOW
PLEASE and bring my darling DEANNA and the luvy love girlie girls
too!!!! Until you get here I will try a massage...I have an
appointment today, my first ever in my life even though my sweet and
caring mother-in-law tried to gift this to me at least twice!!!
Thanks Mama Jane! Pray that it helps. Now please don't feel sorry
for me...after all if our lives were perfectly seemless what on earth
would we write about! God's Peace to you all and to all a Good NIGHT
(sleep)! Jonelle;)